Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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