im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
