My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Randomize
