why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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