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I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
