just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
