Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize