Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
