I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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