Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
