Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
