Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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