I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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