you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
