Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
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