I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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