The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
