Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize