How'd it feel making her break her religion?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
