Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
