He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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