Its about making memories worth repressing
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
