Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Randomize
