just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
