you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
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