Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
its not stalking. its research.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
