Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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