So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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