I could have mohawked her pubes.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
