She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
