just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
