you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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