he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize