My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
