I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
