Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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