on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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