nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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