Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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