There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
