everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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