Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
