D3 body, D1 cock
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Randomize
