If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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