I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Randomize
