You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
