You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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