Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Randomize
