He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
