yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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