thus making me awesome and them whores
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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