just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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