It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
