I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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