Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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