I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
