Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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